Cynics Unite!
a page for BRILLIANT people like YOU and me
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- Me: So, I just googled, "what does men's shaving cream smell like?" and this was the third result: "Why does my vagina smell like fish? FunAdvice.com."
- Me: have you ever smelled a vagina that smells like fish?
- Steve: once
- Steve: yes
- Me: how did that go for ya?
- Steve: pressed pause
- Me: hahaha
- Me: granted. . . pussy does have a very distinct smell
- Me: a "healthy" scent, is how i'd describe it. . . i mean. . .
- Me: but, fish = no mustache rides for her
- Steve: yeah
- Steve: the fishy one
- Steve: just passed
- Me: i might even be slightly concerned about "fishing" with my pole, if you know what i mean. probably harmless though.
- Steve: I didn't
- Steve: that lake bed was contaminated
- Me: hahahahaha
- Me: imagine going down and then all the sudden stopping. . .
- Me: she's like, "what's the matter?"
- Steve: sea sick
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- Me: yoyoyo
- Steve: mang
- Steve: sup
- Me: not too much, you
- Steve: the woman is pms'ing
- Steve: kinda need a drink
- Me: hahaha
- Me: what's she pissed at now?
- Steve: IDK
- Me: that blows
- Steve: I just moved into the ignore her phase
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Nerd: Why fish in the real world when you can fish in the World of Warcraft?
Evan: You’d think Jesus was a huge fan of virtual reality.
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- Me: yoyoyo
- Stephen: sup
- Me: not too much, you
- Stephen: work
- Stephen: = lame
- Me: yeah. . . work blows
- Stephen: with teeth
- Me: and braces
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Evan: Sometimes I wonder if I have a mild form of autism.
Comments
Josh: Mild??
Kristina: Not autism… now sociopath…
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So, there was this fly buzzing around the room while I was eating some Chinese food the other night. Thoroughly perturbed at its incessant whizzing around the room, I thought to myself, “Stupid fly. You don’t even realize there’s an entire pupu platter ripe for the picking here.”
But after it zinged across the room for the millionth time, it dawned on me: Chinese food is so unhealthy that even flies prefer dog @#$% over my Kung Pao chicken. Who’s the stupid one now?
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Timeless advice from my mother today after I said I’ve been eating more because I quit smoking:
“You need to exercise! You can’t get fat before you’re married!”
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Recent trip to Lackland AFB, San Antonio, TX: This is my mother telling her other son not to marry illegal immigrants and to especially avoid women south of the border.
